I don't want to jinx anything... but I feel as though after a few years of wondering where I was going... who I was... I'm finally getting a plan going. And it's not just random, impulsive ideas or feelings that I'm reacting on, but solid goals that I do believe I can achieve. Well that's one scary part, the other scary part is that things seem to be lining up TOO well to help my goals materialize. Maybe it's because I've actually found that fire again that I thought I lost a long time ago, and I'm pushing myself again to achieve, maybe it's fate or destiny or whatever you call it finally calling... Whatever it is, it's great but frightening. I haven't felt this alive in a long time! However, I'm fucking scared 'coz I remember when I DID feel like this before and I would see my dreams shatter right before my eyes and I would feel helpless and stupid for not knowing better. That sucked. And it took me such a long time to feel ok after seeing what reality can hit you in the face with.
Still, it would be so stupid to turn away from this fire inside of me just because of fear. So hallmark I know. But it's like the old Kat is back, just a new and improved version... we'll call her version 3.0... The freakin' extreme Katmeister.
LOL! Ok now I'm just a nerd. Gotta go to work!!
More to come!
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